Friday, November 19, 2010

A CERTAIN AGE

When I drove in from the airport after my California trip it was dark, which occurs pretty early now that Arizona autumn is officially here.  I was kind of down in the dumps after leaving the kids...Collin's little sad face had stayed with me.  Lauren was pretty oblivious at the time, but her Mother did report that she screamed "GG" for ten minutes after they left the airport.  What a sweet little girl!

I gathered my bags, collected the mail and set about the reorganization that always follows a trip--even a short one.  I unpacked a bit and then sat down to open the mail.  I've always loved mail--even in today's world where most of it can be recycled before reaching the front door.  I'm standing in the kitchen sorting--pitch here, recycle there, open that...when an envelope caught my eye--and why not?  "Win a Free Cremation.  No Purchase or Obligation."  Whoa!!

I had to open that one.  "Dear Margie," (lucky guess, right?) followed by a page and a half of "no sales pressure", "no obligation", and then the bottom line:  "Sometimes death happens before you have had a chance to put plans in place.  We stand ready to assist at a moment's notice should you need immediate help."

Suddenly, I needed to sit down.  I may not feel well.  Perhaps a sore throat?  Yes!  I'm awfully tired?  Yes!  A pain?  Sharp or dull?  Yes!  A headache?  Dizziness?  Is this a moment?  I think I might need immediate help immediately!!

Then I carefully tell myself to calm down.  I'm reading an advertising piece sent out, no doubt, to all of Sun City Grand.  I'm fine, I'm young for my age, I exercised two weeks ago, I drink a glass of red wine every evening.  Actually, I think I'll have one right now.

OK, I'm good.  In fact, I'm kind of amused.  Win a cremation!!  I hadn't expected that even in this neighborhood.  So, I take a little sip and slit open the next envelope.  "Dear Margie,  Do you find yourself asking others to repeat themselves more and more often?  Are you feeling left out of conversations?"   "Digital hearing health care...Call today for an appointment...be sure to bring a friend or loved one--someone whose voice is familiar to you ."  Why would I need to do that?  Will I be having a moment?  Will I be needing immediate help?

I'm leaving the rest of the mail for tomorrow.

 

1 comment:

And Kathleen said...

Oh dear! This is too funny. As much as I think about cremation vs. burial (at the ripe old age of 28), I think I would much prefer a J. Crew catalog to cozy up with accompanied by a glass of wine.